1) No one else can give you exactly what you want without you having to say a thing. Other people are not mind readers.
2) You cannot give anyone else exactly what they want without them saying a thing. You are not a mind reader either.
3) If there's something you really want, and if you can afford it, then get it for yourself at some time other than Christmas. Take some of the performance pressure off your loved ones.
4) Surprises suck more often than they provide true delight.
5) What you really need will not be given to you by someone else. It will not come in a gift wrapped box.
6) What you really need will not come from another person, or from outside your being, at all. It's simply not possible.
7) Because what you really need is the experience of being alive, a deepening appreciation for the complexity and the mystery of life.
8) It's easier to experience being alive while playing dominoes than while opening presents.
9) Just because "everyone else" does something this time of year does not mean that you have to do it. Not all families are harmonious. Not all families are actually good for their family members.
10) So choose what works for you. You are not obligated to spend precious time off from work with people who treat you disrespectfully, whether they call themselves family or not.
11) We all get a little "dark" in this darkest time of the year. That's one of the reasons there's been a holiday at the end of what we now call December since before you could call us human beings: to lighten things up, to remind ourselves that warmth will return, that spring will come again. So it's perfectly OK if you don't feel as cheerful as all those singers on the radio sound. They were paid to sound that way, you know.
12) Cook. Eat. Walk. Repeat every few hours.
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